Dear R2,
Dwoot dweet tweet doot. *short whistle*long whistle* dwoot dwoot blert *short whistle*. Deet deet doot does he think he is with his gold plated dwwerr *long whistle* and his blert blert accent. dwoo dweet tweet dwert dwooo *fax machine noise*.
later,
Sam
ps.
Tell Luke he needs a haircut
09 May, 2011
08 May, 2011
To Nicolas Cage
Dear Mr. Cage,
Why do you keep growing your hair out for movies, or keep wearing long haired wigs. It's creepy. I know you probably think it looks good, but it doesn't. every one knows your balding. You aren't fooling any one. Why not just take a hint from Bruce Willis and just bic it already. I mean, sure, at first every one was like "Bruce, wtf man? Why did you go completely bald. Your recieding hair line looked good. I mean do you really need to look that much more intense." But then after a while every one was like "oh, hey. That actually looks pretty good." I dunno, maybe you're like me and have a lumpy, odd shaped head. But honestly, I think you'd look better. It would probably make your forehead look less gigantic.
Just sayin',
Sam
P.s.
I know you're super into comic books and stuff, but please stop naming your kids after comic book characters. you're making the rest of us normal folk who enjoy comics look kinda crazy. aslo, you should probably stop making comic book movies. Ghost Rider was pretty bad.
Why do you keep growing your hair out for movies, or keep wearing long haired wigs. It's creepy. I know you probably think it looks good, but it doesn't. every one knows your balding. You aren't fooling any one. Why not just take a hint from Bruce Willis and just bic it already. I mean, sure, at first every one was like "Bruce, wtf man? Why did you go completely bald. Your recieding hair line looked good. I mean do you really need to look that much more intense." But then after a while every one was like "oh, hey. That actually looks pretty good." I dunno, maybe you're like me and have a lumpy, odd shaped head. But honestly, I think you'd look better. It would probably make your forehead look less gigantic.
Just sayin',
Sam
P.s.
I know you're super into comic books and stuff, but please stop naming your kids after comic book characters. you're making the rest of us normal folk who enjoy comics look kinda crazy. aslo, you should probably stop making comic book movies. Ghost Rider was pretty bad.
Dear Mr. Slash
Dear Slash,
You are fucking awesome. I’ve never really been into your music but still, you’re awesome. I think its pretty bad ass that you still rock the same look too. Is that your real hair under your top hat, or is it a wig. I bet it’s your real hair, ‘cause if rock and roll is anything like greek mythology your hair’s probably like Samson's, and if you cut it off you wouldn’t be able to perform face melting solos or something like that. Are you as sick of Axel Rose as everybody else? I saw you on Jay Leno; it was cool that you had your Team Coco button on. I’m with Team Coco as well. Do you like cheese? I like cheese. If so, what’s your favorite kind? Mine’s Wenslydale. That shit’s fuckin’ great, if you haven’t tried it you really should. But you’re Slash so I’m sure you have, and I bet you were all like “mmmmmmmmm that’s some damn good cheese.” Then you pulled a Les Paul out of nowhere and played a super stellar solo inspired by cheese, but the solo was so good that the cheese melted. Then you were all like “well shit”. But your slash so I’m sure you had a cheese summoning solo that could solve that problem. Well ill stop bothering you with all this talk about cheese.
Later,
Sam
P.s.
I think you and Conan should team up again. That time when you two went guitar shopping together was f’in’ hilarious.
You are fucking awesome. I’ve never really been into your music but still, you’re awesome. I think its pretty bad ass that you still rock the same look too. Is that your real hair under your top hat, or is it a wig. I bet it’s your real hair, ‘cause if rock and roll is anything like greek mythology your hair’s probably like Samson's, and if you cut it off you wouldn’t be able to perform face melting solos or something like that. Are you as sick of Axel Rose as everybody else? I saw you on Jay Leno; it was cool that you had your Team Coco button on. I’m with Team Coco as well. Do you like cheese? I like cheese. If so, what’s your favorite kind? Mine’s Wenslydale. That shit’s fuckin’ great, if you haven’t tried it you really should. But you’re Slash so I’m sure you have, and I bet you were all like “mmmmmmmmm that’s some damn good cheese.” Then you pulled a Les Paul out of nowhere and played a super stellar solo inspired by cheese, but the solo was so good that the cheese melted. Then you were all like “well shit”. But your slash so I’m sure you had a cheese summoning solo that could solve that problem. Well ill stop bothering you with all this talk about cheese.
Later,
Sam
P.s.
I think you and Conan should team up again. That time when you two went guitar shopping together was f’in’ hilarious.
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